


V-Team

by skepticallysighing



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Chameleon - Freeform, Major character death - Freeform, Mako Mermaids - Freeform, Mysterious, Religion, Technology, Thighs, Toronto, Vegan, Vegetarian, don't eat meat, h22o, heather duke - Freeform, hydration, is wyatt killing finn, lizard fun facts, pot, religion and vegetables, v-team, veganism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 19:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12754839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skepticallysighing/pseuds/skepticallysighing
Summary: "Eat Vegan or Drown...V-Team. So stay V-Team forever."(Official script of the 2017 Vegan PSA by Jack Dylan Grazer)





	V-Team

**Author's Note:**

> Or at least what I heard.

Finn: Wow, Toronto. What a beautiful city. Home of the Bluejays.

Jack: Yeah, it would be a shame if we let this town

         or THIS CITy..

_eheh_

         …ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ʷᵃˢᵗᵉ.

         ＳＯ.

Chosen: hi.

Jack: ⓈⓄ ⓈⓉⒶⓎ ⒸⓁⒺⒶⓃ, ⒶⓃⒹ EAT ⓃⓄⓉ MEAT

 

Finn: Hi, I- do I go?

 

Jack: Hi there. Hi.

         H̕i.  **H͜͏iii͢͏̴i̷̡͟i͢i͠͠i͞i҉̷**. My name’s ＤＥＶＯＮ ＱＵＵＢＳＥ, and I’m the ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ.

 

Stop crying, before I give you something to cry about!

Finn: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

        I’M? BROOKS DEVON WEEG

Jack: his name is  **HIS NAME IS BROOKE DENNIS WEEGIE.**

Finn: UH HUH HUUUUUH

 

Chosen: ᵈᵒ ᶤ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᵐʸˢᵗᵉʳᶤᵒᵘˢ?

Finn: Yeah, that definitely looks mysterious.

Jack: That’s definitely myst-

Chosen: Oん,   んi.

             MynameisBillyBobBouxJomns

             (blink blink)

 

Finn: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

 

Finn: oh-

Chosen: 1. Rule Number One of the ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

##          Be good and don’t eat meat.

             2.  Rule Number Two of the ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

##          Animals are Humans Too.

             3.  And Rule Number Three, uh

##  Jack: It’s very important to keep your planet clean. And don’t eat meat. We don’t want anymore animals :)

##  Chosen: what

Jack: :) So give them back to god.

 

Jack: It might seem funny, but in reality, it’s very sophisticated.

 

Finn: Hhhh

         4.  Rule Number Four 

##       Treat the city nicely, as you would be

##       treated by…your mother…like you woul

##  Wyatt: ＡＲＥ ＹＯＵ ＭＡＫＩＮＧ ＦＵＮ ＯＦ ＭＹ

##             ＭＯＴＨＥＲ

(Wyatt kills Finn)

 

##  Jack: ⓥ  
Finn: ⓣⓔⓐⓜ  
Jack: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ  
Finn: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ  
         Welcome welcome to our corporal cuo-

 

**Finn : ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ**

**Jack : ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ**

Chosen: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

**Jack : ⓥ**

 

Jack: Drink water, okay? Stay hydrated. It’s good. :)

        (spits all of it on finn)

 

Finn: ʷʰᵉᶰᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶤ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᵗʰʳᵒᵒᵐ, ᶤ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰᶤˢ ᵖᵃᶤᶰ ᵗᵒ ᵘʳᵍᵉ.

 

Finn: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ!

Jack: ⓥ

Finn: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

Jack: Oh fuck

 

Finn: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ

Jack: my

         granddad

         isgood

         he’s the best.

 

##  Jack: That’s technology.  
**ƓЄƬ ƦƖƊ ƠƑ ƖƬ**

Chosen: Did you know, that blue eyes are actually alien eyes?

Jack: GASP

         I  **KNEW**  IT

 

Jack: You know that

         The average american man

         is four times the size of a lizard

**Finn : (Heather Duke noises)**

 

Chosen: One hundred twenty thousand (120,000)

             Right now I’m working out my thighs

             This is my thigh muscles

             They're really, really extracted.

 

Chosen: Oh, hi there :) You know, more impressing than this

             VIEW

             I have

             Is this

##          H22O

_It’s not just H2O_

 

> (Insert Nicholas Hamilton Joke)
> 
> (Splash splash goes the boy)

             You see that?

(gets closer to the camera)

**_YOU SEE THAT?_ **

**_THAT’S TWENTY MILLION (20,000,000) DOLLARS WORTH OF H22O._ **

**_Jack : OH DON’t DO THAT-_ **

Chosen: I want the gas wait-

 

##  Finn: AA̵AAA͘A҉̡ **A͠͝A͟͠A̢͡A̧̨͘͠A͠͡͝Ą̧  
** Jack: RU̴L̨E ͜͞҉N̸̢͡UMBE̸҉R̴͏ ̧S̨Į͝X  
 ̨͞         EA̴̧͢T̵͏ ̷͝V҉E̶G҉̶A̸N̶ ҉O̶R ̢̛ **DR̛͡OW̵N̵**

              (slaps Finn’s ass)

              ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ!

**ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ!**

_Finn : ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ!_

Jack: ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ :)

 

Jack: Rule Number Six, 

##       always dispose of the body-

         Shit man no no no get out of my fucking room, get OUT

**Chosen : ＧＯ!**

##  _Wyatt : (SCREAMS)_

##  **_Jack : ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ!_ **

 

 

Jack: Hello, did you know that most of the chameleons the average chameleon in South America are comprised of colours like

         GREEN

         PINK

         AND YELLOW

         Along with ones that

Finn: (making weird grief sounds)

 

Jack: I hope you enjoyed this very important announcement.

Chosen: I sure did! Didn’t you, Finn?

             ƳЄƧ Ɩ ƊƖƖƖƖƊ

Jack: ʰᵉ'ˢ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ

         ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ, so stay ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ forever. ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ. Stay ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ.

Chosen: Is it still recording?

Jack: ⓈⓄ ⓈⓉⒶⓎ ⒸⓁⒺⒶⓃ, ⒶⓃⒹ BE V

Chosen: I’m ready to go

Jack: Yeah I gotta go.

         Always dispose of the body (excited vomiting sound)

         ⓥⓣⓔⓐⓜ for real this time.

Chosen: I like your shoes


End file.
